Sluggish Hearts

I just read something from John Piper's book "The Dangerous Duty of Delight" that I really needed to hear today. He says:

"It is true that our hearts are often sluggish. We do not feel the depth or intensity of affections that are appropriate for God or His cause. It is true that at those times we must exert our wills and make decisions that we hope will rekindle our joy. Even though joyless love is not our aim, nevertheless it is better to do a joyless duty than not to do it, PROVIDED that there is a spirit of repentance that we have not done all of our duty because of the sluggishness of our hearts."

Please tell me, am I the only one "who has a sluggish heart". Am I the only one who, at times, "does not feel the depth or intensity of affections that are appropriate for God or His cause?"
I have felt this way today and I have been miserable. It's during these times you don't want to read the Word even when you know that's the place we need to go to have our joy restored to us. I was riding in the car on the way home from the gym today asking God to fill my cup until it overflows. Out of a sluggish heart might I add. And this is what I heard in my heart.

How can I fill your cup when you don't lift it up? How can I fill your cup when you are not in my Word. How can I fill your cup when you aren't on your knees crying out for more? How can I feel your cup when you pout instead of praise.

And that is what I didn't want to do. I wanted to be filled without doing anything. But even in the sluggishness of our heart He will be faithful to us when He knows our hearts desire Him more than anything else. You may be at the point where all you can say is "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus" or "God, please change me" the way I have today, but when you lift your cup, even if you can't get it higher than your shoulder, God is faithful to fill it up when He sees your need for him and you humble yourself before Him.

Piper goes on to say that if the cheerfulness of obedience is not there, there are three steps we ought to take.
1. confess the sin of joylessness and acknowledge the coldness of your hear. (Psalm 61:2 My heart is faint, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
2. Pray earnestly that God will restore the joy of obedience. (I delight in your will O God: Your Law is within my heart. Psalm 40:8)
3. God ahead and do the outward dimension of your duty in the hope that the doing will rekindle the delight.

I needed to hear this today because Satan has delivered several blows to me today. A blow of discouragement, a blow of defeat, a blow of joylessness. Not through anyone, but in attacking my mind. This really bothers me because I hate when I feel joyless in my walk with the LORD. And it never occurred to me that this is in fact sin since throughout scripture God commands us to have joy, hope, fear (of the LORD), peace, etc. He commands us to delight in Him. And strangely enough, confessing my sin of joylessness (not to be mistaken with unhappiness) made me feel more joy.

So even when we have no joy, we must turn to the Lord, confess our sin and seek Him out to restore the joy we are missing.

Views I'll Miss

The glory of the LORD revealed
I love the sun shining on the mountains
You can see waffle house and 459 from this one
Light shining through the darkness!!!!!!!!!!!
Taken from my dining room window

There are several things I will miss about Birmingham when we finally move to Savannah, but here is one of the things I think I'll miss the most. I took all of these pics from my house. They are from my dining room widow, deck , driveway, and front door. Do the ones of the sun coming through the clouds show the Glory of God or what. It was absolutely beautiful!!!
The little yellow sign in one of the pics is the waffle house at the corner of Morgan Road and Parkwood.

Glowing in the Dark

"When Moses came down from Mt. Sinai with the two tablets of the Testimony in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the LORD. " Ex. 34:29

As I read this verse, I began to think about things that glow in the dark. Toys, pencils, stickers, t shirts, etc. And it hit me that in order for these things to glow, they must come into contact with light. And how do we know that they have come into contact with the light? Because they glow. No light, no glow!! And the closer you put the object to the light, the brighter it's gonna shine. WOW!! I think you probably see where I am going with this now.

As Christians, we have the ability and the command to glow in the dark. But ya'll unless we come into contact with THE Light, we won't. Jesus says that He is the light of the world. Jesus Himself has to shine through us for others to see. But if we never sit at His feet and learn of Him, if we never go into His presence in worship, if we never talk to Him in prayer, we won't shine. We were created for the glory of God. To let His radiance shine through our life. He didn't come and die just so we could live forever. He wants us to glorify Him. To "glow in the dark" for Him so that others will come to the Light. We can say that we love Him and serve Him. We can say that He is our everything. But when others look at us, do they see radiance because we live in Christ and His words abide in us? Let God search your heart right now and tell you if you glow when you step out into the darkness of the world around you. Does your face shine where other people can look at you and tell that you've been in the presence of the Living God? Sit at His feet until you leave glowing with the radiance of His Person!!

My Favorite Sound

I can't believe the sound I have been listening to all day. It's a sound I don't hear often or nearly enough. A sound I can't wait to hear everyday but rarely do. It's the sound I long for and have been for the past 11 years.

SILENCE SILENCE SILENCE

The kids were at school (well three of them) and my neighbor has had Katherine with her all day. Now that they are at home, the three younger ones are at my neighbors house and my oldest one is at a friends down the street. I can't believe how quiet it is right now. It just occurred to me that I can actually hear myself typing on the keyboard. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! But I'm sure this treat won't last long.

I know that once they are grown and gone, it will be reversed. I know I will miss all the noises they seem to create (which are many) but for now, I'll enjoy the silence.

I knew it wouldn't last long. Elizabeth just came in and the phone started ringing and my neighbor called to tell me that Katherine is being hard headed. So now, I have to go get her. But thank you Lord for refreshing me for those few moments.

Christian Joy

This is why I love John Piper so much. This is my desire. To see people fully satisfied in who He is so that their joy may be complete.

Can't Sleep

It's 2:45 in the morning and I can't seem to get back to sleep so I put on a pot of coffee and decided to write a post. Elizabeth woke me up around 1:30 crying so I put her in bed with me. Watching Cosby Show and Fresh Prince of Bel Air didn't help much either. Which by the way, I just love Will Smith. He is SO SO funny. The little tiny feathers from my down comforter under my sheets were making me itch and my hair moving across my face caused by the fan kept tickling my cheek and nose. And then of course my mind starts wandering from one thing to another. A house and car that need to be sold, Church, things I've learned during my quiet time, etc. I'm sure most of you know what I'm talking about. My problem isn't usually getting to sleep, I seem to not be able to stay asleep. This is when it really pays off to be a stay at home mom. I know that tomorrow around 12, my tail will be in bed. Anyways, I did read something I thought was very cool in my bible the other day.

In Exodus 28, God is giving Moses instructions for the clothing of the priest. Verse 12 says, two stones are to be fastened to the shoulder pieces of the ephod "as a reminder that Aaron represents the people of Israel. Aaron will carry these names on his shoulders as a constant reminder whenever he goes before the Lord." Then God tells him to make the chest piece and put four rows of gemstones with 3 in each row each one representing a son of Israel (Jacob). In verse 29 God said, " In this way, Aaron will carry the names of the tribes of Israel on the sacred chest piece over his heart when he goes into the Holy Place. This will be a continual reminder that he represents the people when he comes before the Lord." The next verse I found comforting is in verse 36. "Next make a medallion of pure gold and engrave it like a seal with these words: Holy to the LORD. Attach it with a blue cord to the front of Aaron's turban, where it must remain. Aaron must wear it on his forehead so he may take on himself any guilt of the people of Israel when they consecrate their sacred offerings. He must always wear it on the forehead so the Lord will accept the people."

The Holy Spirit immediately made me think of Jesus who is our High Priest (Hebrews 8). Isn't it comforting to know that the Son of God is your High Priest and is in heaven pleading your case before the Father (Hebrew 9:24, 1 John 2:1) . Just like the earthly priest, He represents you before God. And not only that, He carries the weight of your problems on His shoulders, He carries your name in his heart, and you are always on His mind (look back at the verses above). WOW!! God is always thinking about us. Do you all realize the kind of God we serve. So Holy no one can look at Him and live, yet so personal that we hear Him whisper our name and bask in His presence. He sees and He always remembers you. Not a moment goes by that He isn't reminded of you and me. When we are too weak to pray, He does. When we want to give up, He fights for us. When the storms of life are raging, He's in the midst of it ready to calm it at the right time. When your walking through the fire, He's in it with you. Ahhhhh!!! It is so amazing to me that God loves us so much, He took His own breath and breathed life into our mortal bodies. And the whole time, knowing the day was coming that He would die for that very creature He made for His glory!!! And for that, He deserves all our praise and glory!! Remember, the christian life isn't about God making much of us, (although He does) it's about us making much of God. That's what we were created for. My prayer is that every day, you will desire Him more and more.

A Few Lessons Learned on the Journey

Here are a few lessons I have learned since following the Lord.

1. He will not give up on me.
2. He is faithful even when I'm not
3. His love is unconditional
4. Don't ever say you won't do something b/c chances are, that's what God will want you to do.
5. If you don't want to hear an answer that's different from the answer you want, don't ask God. (although I highly discourage you from this.)
6. God's will isn't always easy, comfortable or fun.
7. He demands my whole heart. (notice the word demands)
8. The Christian life is not about me, it's about God and His Kingdom.
9. Nothing in life can compare to the worth of knowing Him.
10. He really does speak to me. His sheep really do "know His voice."
11. He's a really cool father and friend to have. He's pretty 'hip'
12. He completely satisfies every need I have.
13. He knows what's best for me.
14. He gives me strength when I am weary and weak
15. He is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in Him.

And these are just a few things I've learned thus far with a lot more lessons to learn. If God has taught you any lessons along the way, please share them with us. Your lesson could be something God wants to show others but you must tell it!! I stand amazed at who He is. Being football season, I started thinking of God in football terms. For example, He's my quarterback- he calls all the plays. He's my center- he "snaps the ball at the right time." He's the cheerleader (the male ones) He cheers me on in this game of life. He's the referee- He lets me know when I've messed up. He's the offensive line- He helps me score the touchdown. And He's on the defensive line - He blocks the enemy so I can win the game. Which is exactly why He told Moses I AM!!!!!

Back Home

Well, we made it back home yesterday around 3:30. The trip actually wasn't that bad. I do have to say that my kids were troopers on the long drive there and back. No complaining, arguing, saying it's not fair, etc. So maybe it does help to be positive. When you think negative you see only the negative, but when you think positive you see the positive.

Now, being there is a whole different story. We were so cramped in the one bedroom one bath apartment. And they were wanting to be entertained the whole time which was very stressful for me. Friday, I met up with a friend of mine at Bass Pro Shop with her four kids. So yes, we had eight kids between us two adults. One very stressed adult and one very calm adult. (I was the stressed one.) They had a stuffed snake fight in the toy department and then we moved on to the four wheelers and they "rode" for about 15 minutes. Fortunately, we left there before getting kicked out. I guess we saw it coming. But beware Target!!! They were just getting started. It wasn't really that bad. They actually behaved pretty well and our kids got along great. And me and six of the kids had a really good laugh when we started talking about the names John David "Booty" (i think that's how you spell it) and the football player whose last name is "Fagg" and the tombstone with the last name "Dumfart." I get tickled just hearing them say, "What if your name was Booty Fagg Dumfart." Or hearing them say, "Dumfart, table of six." "Miss Booty, your table is now ready." Oh My Gosh!!! Hilarious.

Trying to save money, we brought along the two dogs. But they actually ended up costing us more. Well, Lillie did. She chewed a hole in the carpet, chewed on a pen and ink got all over the floor, and peed on the carpet a couple of times. And if that wasn't enough, I forgot to put a diaper on Katherine the first night and she peed all over the bed. Plus she pulled some paint off of the drawer in the kitchen. Poor Blake!! We arrived to a clean apartment and left to a trashed one. But all is well.

Overall, the trip was a good one. But Lillie will never be welcomed back and I will have to prepare to entertain.

Off To Savannah

Well, today me and my 6wildhares are heading to Savannah and won't be back until Monday. I say six because I decided that four just wasn't enough so I'm bringing along the two dogs. I mean, I might as well be stressed to the max if I'm gonna be stressed. I might even decide to go west first before going east. The longer the trip the better. Six hours with the group just isn't enough. I'm thinking 11 or 12 sounds a whole lot better. I know, you think I've lost my mind and you are right. I left it at the hospital when I had my first child and have never gone back to get it. Why do you need a mind when you have a husband and four children that already know everything.

Seriously, it isn't going the be that bad. The kids are all going to get along great and the dogs are going to sleep the whole time. I'm also sure that Davis and Anna Blake are going to beg me to let the other sit in the front because they always put each other before themselves. And Katherine and Elizabeth are going the laugh the whole way. Not tears, no fighting, no back talking, no complaining and no hearing the words "it's not fair." (can you tell I'm calling things that are not as tho they are? I'll let you all know how it works.) Well, gotta get the troop off to school so I can prepare for the wonderful trip today. Have a wonderful, blessed, God-filled weekend.